Shame

©Stacie Sandall

I feel you watching,

ignoring when I call.

I feel you hovering around me,

waiting for me to fall.

I reach into the blackness,

feeling forsaken and ashamed.

I reach for your acceptance,

a way to be unblamed.

I cry from your disdain

as you wrongly extinguish my sun.

I cry in my own pity,

feeling dirty for things I’ve not done.

I'm driven to defense

the more you twist your knife.

I'm driven down to beg and plea

as I justify my life.

I flinch at your words,

hateful and accusing.

I flinch at your thoughts,

tainted and seething.

I can't seem to convince you

that I have done nothing.

I can't seem to please you.

In your past I'm drowning.